Getting Back On The Horse...So To Speak

Two days after my last blog post I ended up having an accident at the barn and had some significant damage done to my foot. I have been sulking, pouting, in a lot of pain, and on top of it I caught a cold and my cycle started. A week early. The worse part about it was a couple of days before I had a couple of very early pregnancy signs so I took a test. Of course it was yet another BFN and the next morning shark week started. So to say I have been off my game would be putting it lightly. I apologize to my husband, my mom, my co-workers, and friends for having to put up with me. Friday I got word that I could at least walk on my walking boot. Although I have to remain in it for another 3-4 weeks for the majority of the time that verdict was a lot better than a cast or surgery. So despite still being in pain and having to wear the walking boot I am maintaining a much more positive outlook these last couple of days. So with that being said it's time to get back on the horse.

I started looking up exercises I can do with limited mobility. There's no way I can even walk on a treadmill for an hour but the lady doctor said I needed to lose 10% of my body weight by the time we met next. Which means I need to be down roughly 20lbs by January 19th. Right in the middle of the holiday season. With a crippled foot. I'm going to be very happy with 15lbs. I'll be pretty happy with 10lbs. LOL. So that's where the focus is at these next few weeks. Going to get a better a handle on what I'm eating and also try and get a workout in 3-5x a week.  

Mike has been amazing these last couple of weeks. I mean, he's always amazing, but he's taken such good care of me. The Saturday before the accident with my foot I was a mess. I woke up a bit angry for no reason and once Mike was up and we were heading to town it was simmering beneath the surface. As we got to breakfast I was feeling a little more like myself and we had a nice time. After breakfast we headed to the grocery where I became irritated off and on throughout the trip. Once we left I knew something was off emotionally. (duh) As we were driving home I started crying out of nowhere and poor Mike is sitting there asking me what's wrong and I had no idea. I teared up off and on the drive home to the point where Mike asked me to pull over so I could just cry it out. Nope I wasn't having it, I was fine. So we got home and started cleaning house I ended up trying to pick a fight with Mike, and when he wouldn't take the bait I stomped my way back to the bathroom and ended up crying again. I kept pushing through it though and it wasn't until I was sitting on our bed, surrounded by a mountain of laundry, with "I've Been Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave playing in the background and Mike leaning against the door frame asking if I was OK that I absolutely lost it. I mean I bawled like I haven't bawled since Molly died. Mike came over and just held me and kept asking what was wrong. Through sniffles and gulps of air I wailed that I had no idea. I think it was a mix of things. I think my hormones were all out of whack from the Metformin but I also think when you're dealing with infertility you're just going to have your "crazy" days. Luckily I have Mike. Which is who this little story is about. There is no other way to put it than God made us for one another. He is always so patient with me, waits on me hand and foot while I've been down, and has kept The Zoo running and happy. I don't know what I would do without him. He is going to be such an amazing Dad. I just keep praying that he'll get the chance. 

Mon meeting his next door neighbor when I dropped him off at the barn Tuesday morning. Did I mention that I loaded and hauled him to the barn 100% by myself?! I was pretty proud. :)

My foot a couple of days after it happened.