Let's Answer Some Questions

I'm sure most of you are friends on my FB seeing what allllll the commotion is about. So here goes nothing.

On October 27th I was diagnosed with PCOS. What is PCOS? Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It is the most common hormone disorder that causes problems with ovulation, roughly 1 in every 10 women deal with PCOS. Symptoms range from anxiety, depression, unwanted hair growth, acne, weight gain, mood swings, fatigue, irregular periods, infertility and cysts on your ovaries. One doesn't necessarily have to display all of these symptoms. For me it was anxiety, weight gain, fatigue, random chin hairs, irregular periods, infertility and on top of it I have over 20 ovarian cysts. The typical "string of pearls" the cysts are often called surrounding my ovaries. 

Mike and I have been trying to get pregnant for well over a year and haven't been preventing pregnancy for about two years. At the end of September I was so emotionally exhausted from trying to get pregnant that I was leaning heavily towards just not having kids. Going on birth control and just sticking my head in the sand. I was tired of wondering each month if this was going to be our month or if we were going to have another BFN (big fat negative.) I was tired of being asked when we were going to have kids when I wasn't sure if we could at all. I was tired of getting on FB and seeing another pregnancy announcement and wondering if it was ever going to be us. I felt so bad when I saw Mike's face fall when I told him my period started. I just didn't want to do it anymore. 

Luckily my Mom is amazing and knew that if I just gave up and didn't get any answers that I would regret it. So I made an appointment. I had my third pelvic ultrasound (where they stick a camera into you to see your uterus and ovaries....yep super fun), blood work, and then my follow up. Before the follow up appointment my Mom and I were pretty confident I had PCOS but to hear the official diagnosis was hard. 

The thing with PCOS is that it causes weight gain because it causes insulin resistance. What's the best way to combat PCOS? Lifestyle change. Healthier nutrition and exercise. So PCOS=weight gain. Weight loss=less PCOS symptoms. Seriously?! Why don't you just add that it sucks all the energy out of you too? Oh wait. It does. 

So that's what has been going on. I thought about dealing with this and keeping it in our home and with our close friends and family. But you're talking 1 in every 10 women have to go through this. So I'm sure there are women on my FB that may be facing this very thing. Who may feel just as lost, broken, and angry as I sometimes feel and I want you to know you are not alone. 

I also want to be able to share this journey with you. We're trying to start a family. The most exciting, miraculous, amazing blessing that can happen to a family and we're still not sure if it will happen for us. That's a scary reality. It's hard every month to wonder if this will be it. To go through the exhausting, nerve wracking tww (two week wait), to face another BFN, only to push all of those insecurities, anger, and sadness away to try again in 10-12 days. To take my temperature before I even get out of bed in the morning, to quit drinking coffee, to track my cycles, to make sure I remember my prenatal and Metformin pills in the morning, my Metformin pill at night, to get a workout in no matter how tired I am, to say no to bread and chocolate ice cream, to drive my husband crazy because I'm sitting on the bed bawling my eyes out, to go between pinning pregnancy announcements in the hopes of it being us, to pinning the feelings of dealing with PCOS, and to deal with all of the above alone just seemed too much. So I decided to share our journey.

This blog will not be all doom and gloom I promise!! Most days I am very positive in this journey. Mike has been amazing and has dealt with my mood swings and the side effects of the Metformin so well. I haven't gotten the best start in the lifestyle change in the last week, except for quitting coffee, but that gets started next week. So I'm planning on sharing our favorite recipes, the funny happenings around The Zoo, and other topics that strike my fancy. Hope you join us on our Adventure to our Miracle.